Banned from zoo.
Again?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
