Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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