Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize