For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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