the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
