all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
