I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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