bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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