That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize