It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
