dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
