So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
