Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
