you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
