All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
