Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize