This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
