Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
