worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
