You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
