what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
