Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I don't deserve a penis
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
