When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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