Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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