Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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