I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
