I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
