YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
not ubering you a puppy
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Why did my mother make you get naked?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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