is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize