I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
