does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
