Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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