Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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