i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
