i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
