The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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