Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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