The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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