At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
