Me too!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
