what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize