I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
