He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
