Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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