He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
