No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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