My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
