I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
