just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
