he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
