Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
