I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
