The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
