How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize