I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
