I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Dick very happy bro
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
