I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
