Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
