This is not my ceiling
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
