I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I have post one night stand depression
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
