I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
