What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
