Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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