he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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