ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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