just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
