you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
