I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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