My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Who wears a wallet chain?!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
