I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he shaved USA in his pubs
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
