so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
