I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He kissed a someone with a penis
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Randomize
