Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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