is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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