The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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